If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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