If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
