What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize