You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
