I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
