never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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