Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
