he shaved USA in his pubs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
