READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
