Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We left an ass print on the piano.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
