I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
