I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
