We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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