a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no you cant smoke seaweed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
