i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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