i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize