Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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