you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
vagina is talking i cant
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
