Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
