you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
