the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
