so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I licked your asshole in confidence.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
