You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
