I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
