Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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