You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
