Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
