i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize