xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
