windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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