I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
