grandma shit on top of the toilet
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My ass is underappreciated
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
