True but thats because hes a fetus.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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