I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize