I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
