in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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