you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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