I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
