I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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