I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize