I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
