she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
