What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
