Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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