Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this boner is exhausting
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize