I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
