put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
