Did you just see the Batmobile???
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you inspire me to be a worse person
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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