So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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