i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
