Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
