Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
