I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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