Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Every concussion has its silver lining
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
