I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
