I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
