yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize