on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
