Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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