dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
