it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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