Don't make out with my wife yet
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
