no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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