R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
